All this free time and reflections on last night...

Not exactly sure how to spend all of this free time! Today my daughter and I decided to go the Tea Hive which is a tea room in Newton. It's an old house with four different rooms, all decorated in different themes. Today we were seated in the Victorian Room. Very froofy. Upstairs is a really cute gift shop, which is one of her favorite parts of the experience! We got all dressed up and ordered the full tea experience (scones, devonshire cream, tiny, exquisite sandwiches and petit fours. My daughter is still so young that she has a hard time reaching the tall iced tea glass without spilling. It's a lot of fun, just the two of us, and I hope she will remember it when she is older. She deserved a special outing for putting up with some very boring days while I did schoolwork. Now we will be busy planning her "butterfly birthday!"

It's always hard to end a class, especially one that's been so meaningful! Last night had a real magic, and I could sense, like Nellista said, that we all wanted to express the impact Dr. Cammack's teaching has had on us. It's hard to put things like that into words. I know that we have all been stretched to think and question. I don't think I would have ever picked up a book like The Call of Stories or scrutinized it so closely, but I know that it will be a book I will return to from time to time. The blogging aspect of this class really did make us into a community in a very short amount of time. I personally felt the void while I was on my cruise (Did I mention that we are already trying to talk Grandma into taking us again next year?!) and when I'd returned, felt that I needed to check in right away to see what was going on. You are all astute, dedicated women and men (Steve), and your insight has amazed me.

Dr. Cammack, What a treasure Montclair State has in you! Your passion for learning and reading and thinking has been personally inspiring. Thank you for having us to your home and providing candlelight, conversation, and an evening we'll all hold dear. Have a wonderful rest of the summer and take good care of your hand! ps Did you ever call Dr. Mascellino? (migraine doctor)

Classmates, Enjoy! Hope to keep in touch through blogging! It has been a pleasure learning with you!

Sticks and Stones and Pails Instead of Barbie..my thoughts on feminist theory

I was sailing the seas of the Carribean when the topic of feminist theory was discussed, so I'm posting my thoughts now.

I have made use of the Wikipedia to delve into femimist theory and was quite surprised at the differences in feminist theory: psychoanalytic feminism, radical feminism, liberal feminism, socialist feminism and so on. I find the concepts of postmodern feminism related to gender so interesting; this theory believes that gender is conditioned and that masculinity and femininity "is not innate".

I have never considered myself a feminist, rather an equalist. I owe this to my parents. I was their only child for five years before my brother came along and I never remember them choosing activities for me that were markedly feminine or not. Until I was five, I grew in a two-family house in Cliffside Park next to a warehouse. The yard was largely an expanse of concrete. I remember being sent outside to play and making up games with things that were oustide...like pretending sticks and stones were spaghetti and meatballs. In pictures of Christmas I have seen me with one doll (who, by the state of her -head hanging off, hair looking like a stalk of broccoli) but I have also seen pictures of me with books and games and bicycles. I remember that my father spent a great deal of time teaching me how to play chess.

What I'm trying to say is that I don't ever remember being "treated like a girl...or not". I was just treated like a person. I remember going to dancing school, but I also remember trying lots of sports, and taking enrichment classes (learning Braille and sign language). I think my parents just tried to develop me as a whole person. Outside of pictures of Easter and Christmas where I ceremoniously donned dresses, I was never dressed up in a "froofy" way. I think the way I was raised made me eager to try just about anything. I never thought of activities being feminine or masculine- I was one of two girls on the chess team in high school.

I have tried to employ the same ideology with my own children. My son loves to sing and we have encouraged him to sing with the church and school choirs, despite the fact that there are very few boys. In all kinds of decisions, including how we treat them on a daily basis, they are treated equally.

I recently read the book Princess, A True Story of Life Behind the Veil in Saudi Arabia by Jean Sasson which opened my eyes to the inequality that women face in many parts of the world and it made me so grateful for my life's experiences. In this book, Jean Sasson relates the experiences of Princess Sultana who is a member of the Royal Family of the House of Al Sa'ud, Saudi Arabia's current rulers. From beginning to end, lines like "The authority of a Saudi male is unlimited; his wife and children survive only if he desires" (p.22) made me incensed with anger! I cheered for Princess Sultana when she "refused to give into her brother's male perogative of superiority" (p.25) and ate the apple that he demanded she give to him. Princess Sultana wanted this book written to enlist the help of women. "Young girls from Laos and Cambodia and Thailand are forced into the sex slave trade. Female babies are left on hillsides to starve. Midwives in India are paid to snap the spines of infant females, because the family only wants sons." (intro) This was inconcievable and sickening to me!

All of this begs the question of what can be done to promote equality?

Do I give a Barbie or a book as a birthday gift? Do I buy my son a pink shirt? Does my daughter cheer for others playing a sport or play the sport? I think the little decisions we make each day shape the ideologies of our children, and the type of people they will grow up to be. Hopefully, by treating them as people (not boy or girl--- what a pain to have to assign those names anyway) they will grow up respectful and empowered.

Eye Openers- Weeding through to find the Good Stuff

I have spent the whole weekend reading books to recommend to my teenage case study student. (This blog is going to be brief because I am still searching for solid titles!) I just want to say that I am surprised at the amount of sexually explicit material in YA. And some of the stories are so much of that and other fluff that it's hard to find the story. This is definitely a weeding process. So glad we read feed and Catalyst and cut which were getting to the heart of moral issues and were engaging, but were not over the top in crude explicitness. Is anyone encountering this in their reading?

The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants

So there I was in Blockbuster Video trying to figure out which movie to watch. The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants was on the previously viewed rack, and I picked it up because I have seen the book, but never read it. Then, as I was holding it a girl (teenager) saw it and said, "That's a great movie!" So that made up my mind. So much for Nanny Mc Phee!

I don't know if I loved this movie, but I will say that I found parts of it visually beautiful. The scenes of Greece were in vivid color- crisp and clear- and alive. When Lena gazes out the window at the Greek village, you are reminded to take time to wonder.

It is in sharp contrast to Mean Girls. The Plastics were a group of girls who were catty and gossipy and vindictive. This group of girls had been friends all their lives, and were going to be separated for the first time (three of them will be traveling). While they were shopping they came across a pair of jeans which mysteriously fit all of them. They decided to share the pants and came up with a list of rules to follow while wearing them. Each girl kept the pants for a week and then mailed them to the next friend. They were all convinced that magical things would happen to them while wearing them.

I appreciated the fact that this movie was told with no use of the f-bomb. I really get tired of hearing kids use foul language. I was at the ball field a few weeks ago and listened to some boys drop the f-bomb in at least every third word. Call me old-fashioned. Whatever. It was nice to hear a story without it. I liked the fact that each girl had some kind of passionate interest- sports, art, video, writing. This would give a large number of adolescents something to connect to.
Many issues - and perhaps too many were presented, which makes it somewhat choppy and surfacey- not enough characted development. Carmen feels left out in her dad's new family when she visits him. Bridget is disconnected from her father following her mother's death and is looking for affection when she attends a soccer camp. Tibby doesn't travel anywhere but meets an inspiring young friend who has leukemia . Lena falls in love in Greece with Costos despite his family being in a feud with hers. For the most part things are tied up neatly at the end, and I guess that's why, for me it was just okay. Like whole wheat bread. Very predictable, not entirely believable (the gossipiness of the Plastics was much more realistic) . I don't really enjoy movies with so many watered down- tangental storylines and not enough edge.

For younger teenage girls however, I think it would be useful in discussing love and loss and with its PG rating, could be used in school settings.

Movie Mania...Mean Girls

I don't think I've watched two movies in one sitting in a long time. I rented Mean Girls to catch up with the rest of the class and also bought The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants because the movies I've seen recently are 1) Over the Hedge and 2) Nanny McPhee. It's been that way for quite a few years, honestly! When my kids are grown I think I will go on a movie spree! I'll start with my reaction to Mean Girls, which is that I don't think this movie is far from how life is at all, and I was able to see the characters of Regina, Gretchen and Karen not only in people I knew from my teenage years, but also in students in my past classes, and in adults.

Cliques are ever present and I have lived in two towns to see that things are pretty much the same in both places. There are the jocks, the plastics, the nerds, the bandies etc... and this all starts to sort itself out pretty early on. I remember that last spring I went into a store to buy a shirt for my son and couldn't decide between brown or blue. When I asked the clerk for her opinion she asked if my son was more skater or more sports. This determines color. This was a definite conundrum...Hmmm.... He does play sports. But he also owns a skateboard. (As an aside, did you know that there is a name for someone who wears attire like skater shoes but doesn't skate? It is a poser. My son told me that.) Brown was more skater. Blue was more sports. (Doesn't this seem ridiculous?) Anyhoo- I bought the brown despite his probable percentage being more sports. But why should I have to pigeonhole him when he was only 11?

I have read what people have written about the media perpetuating this but I think parents are to blame for cliques as well. Everyone wants Susie or Johnny to be well liked and parents will go to great lengths to have that happen including enrolling Susie in cheerleading whether Susie likes it or not. And what about these "play dates?" I have seriously overheard mothers talking in overly loud voices (as far back as preschool) about setting up playdates, or how many playdates their child had that week. I'm sure everyone recalls the first time their little Johnny was not invited to a birthday party. (I have heard this story from many people.) What is wrong with our Johnny we wonder? Even funnier when we don't particularly care for the kid whose birthday it is, but still feel bad that our Johnny wasn't included.

One of the saddest characters in the movie was Karen and she reminded me of this girl in middle school years ago who literally followed this "Queen Bee" around. I recall (and this is really sad) that we were all just beginning to wear designer jeans and eyeliner (it was the 80's--- you remember Ooo La La Sassoon and Sergio Valente). The Queen Bee had put some blue eyeliner on her "worker bee". All through the day she kept adding more and more eyeliner on the worker bee, first extending from her eye in little swirls, then in deisgns outward. She kept telling the workerbee that it was in style and by lunch she had eyeliner designs right across the bridge of her nose. Half her face was covered in eyeliner! It was pathetic looking. We all thought this Queen Bee's actions were terrible but were too scared of her to speak up. Finally a teacher caught on at the end of the day and the worker bee was sent to the nurse to wash her face. I don't know if the Queen Bee got in trouble but I do remember that it finally hit the worker bee- her so-called friend was not a nice person. I remember the worker bee starting to hang around a different group.

This is all very disturbing to me, first as a teacher. I see kids all the time who are having trouble fitting in and are on the fringe. It is not a comfortable place to be. Well, some kids don't care and good for them! They have enough feelings of self-worth not to care whether they belong or not. These are often kids who are passionate about certain interests and hopefully find other folks who share those interests. The saddest situation is when kids do care and are not accepted.

As a parent, I just want my children to find a niche, not of people but of passionate interests. I was your typical bandie. I mean it was my life in highschool, and where I fit in, not because of the people, but because of my love of music. I want my children to be true to themselves. I just had this conversation with my son who has, after long deliberation decided to play football again. I can't say how many times I've asked him if he wants to play only because he wants to wear the jersey to school on Fridays before games or if it's because he truly likes the game. Being true to yourself is easy to say, harder to do as an adolescent when you want to fit in. Hopefully he's made the right decision. Clothes are also a huge part of the equation, and I think back to the movie and how they never wore sweatpants except on Fridays. I know that it matters to my son which sneakers he wears etc... I worry about being able to afford the clothes which will keep them in style! (The sooner he can become employed, the better!)

I don't think things will change much. When the girls in the movie were supposed to be apologizing to each other Gretchen still wasn't getting it. There will always be gossip. We would be kidding ourselves to think that cliques will cease to exist. This is a huge reason why, despite our overcrowded teacher's room, we continue to sit at four large tables instead of opting for smaller ones. It would become clique-y. I think the best we can hope for is to parent well and to hope that others do the same so that no matter what clique you are in, you will still be a nice person.

Understanding Comics

I read the chapters of this book by the pool on the ship and felt kind of funny about sitting there with it because nobody else seemed to have a book with a cover like it. (Many of the poolside readers were reading The Da Vinci Code or Angels and Demons and there were lots of Nora Roberts and romance novels.) I have never had a high opinion of comics. I know that in the past when my son has read comic books I haven't really considered that reading. I've prefered seeing a novel in his hand. As a media specialist I am aware of the influx of graphic novels and the interest that they hold for students. This past spring I attended Judy Freeman's "Winners! 100 Best Books of the Year" Conference and she introduced the book, Baby Mouse! (a graphic novel) to us and I loved it. I read it to students and they loved it and many of them were eager to check it out. (I also think they liked the Baby Mouse puppet I made to go along with it...complete with pink cape!) It was not easy to share that book with students though. I am not entirely comfortable with the gutter and don't really know what to do in those pauses during a read-aloud, although I did use some of those pauses to let students just view and react. I've also been a little self-concious about reading word balloons. They seem so silly.

I've found Understanding Comics pretty interesting, I guess because I really have little knowledge of them other than when I was little my grandfather used to give me them out of his Sunday paper to look at. He called them "the funnies". I don't ever remember being engaged by them the way I am with a novel. They do require more work in the gutter; I have to be what Mc Cloud calls the "secret accomplice" I had never thought about the differences in icon portrayal and transitions and thinking back to the comics I've enjoyed, realize that I am bored with the first two types of transitions and prefer transitions 3 and 4. Those are the kind of comics that usually make me laugh. I agree with the statement on p. 156 "In comics, at its best, words and pictures are like partners in a dance and each one takes turns leading...but when these partners each know their roles... and support each other's strengths...comics can match any of the art forms it draws so much of its strength from." I think keeping this in mind with help me enormously when selecting materials for the library collection.

I think the best thing about reading this book is that it has forced me to slow down and think about what I am doing as a reader when I read comics and the value of them for readers as thinkers.

Reading feed in the Carribean

I'm back from the family cruise and when I have more time I am going to put all of my thoughts down...it was a truly an incredible experience! The Internet was soooooooo expensive- $0.75/minute on the ship so I decided to wait and post my responses to feed from home.

I thought feed was fascinating for many reasons. It explores an interesting "what if" and I think adolescents reading this book would have a great time debating whether or not they would like to have a feed inside of them. The amount of information that was sent to them through the feed was astounding...not only shopping advice/commercials but news and the ability to chat and search for information and watch feedcasts. I was exhausted just thinking about the idea of being constantly bombarded with information all of the time.

The whole concept of Violet's family not getting the feeds (due to monetary or moral reasons) was a strand that really I identified with. Her mother called it the "brain mole" and had decided not to have one installed herself. Before I was a media specialist, when I had my own classroom, I had a few students whose families were almost deliberately bucking technology's invasion into their personal lives. These were students who did not have game systems or computers in their homes. They spent more time reading, more time exploring art and nature. I found these students engaging and creative and innovative. It's funny when Violet says "Talk to me. In the air" it reminds me of how quickly technology moves what we do forward. In our school, most student work that is displayed in the hallways is now word-processed. I really miss seeing individual handwriting! Although our principal has an open door policy, she prefers that many issues are addressed to her through email. I miss conversations! I remember hanging on the phone when I was younger. Many of the conversations my son has with his friends are done on the computer. The decision of whether or not to stick with your ideals or to subscribe to what society has to offer is tough. We have not purchased any large game systems/handheld game systems for our children. (We would have been like Violet's parents.) I have seen my children in social situations where they are kind of behind their friends---they don't know how to play certain games etc... but I feel that they are the better for going outside to play and taking piano lessons. I would hate, as a parent, to have to compromise my beliefs just to have my children keep up.

Great use of futuistic language in this book; it's tinged with enough of today's vocabulary to make it all seem possible. I found it funny that Titus's father says "Dude" all the time because that's a word that my son uses and I equate it with today's adolescents. Loves the "Smell Factor" reference to Titus' brother because it reminds me of today's sibling relationships. Hopefully our world never gets to a point where we are so removed from living; Titus and Violet are the light, burning to remind us to live out loud.

Well...it's done, we're off, and I know who's moral in this house!

Well, I have finished my paper and now it is time to join the rest of "Grandma's Cruisers" for our trip! It should be a lot of fun and a true lifetime experience!
The cast of characters for this cruise:
My Mom and Dad: Have never been on a cruise. Mom has, I'm sure, packed enough to sink the ship. She has been shopping for days, mostly shoes. Dad, is glad to get away. Never packs his own suitcase. So glad he will have the opportunity to enjoy himself.
My Sister, her husband and their kids (includes THE TWINS): Let's just say, thank goodness we are not flying with them. Three kids under age four. 'Nuff said.
My own kids: Super excited about swimming with the dolphins! Daughter is one of those compulsive types and was packed days ago....complete with doll clothes. She's already up and ready to go! Son is still sleeping...was at girlfriend's till late last night.
Assorted Cousins and aunts and uncles: I adore them! I still haven't gotten used to the idea that we are all grown up. I used to babysit these cousins! I haven't seen some of them since Christmas and our annual watching of The Christmas Story.
Grandma: This is my "city grandma". (I also have a "country grandma") I think I get my love of all things reading wise from her. She is the Queen of Crossword Puzzles, Cryptoquotes and Crocheting. She sold her house in Hoboken and is treating all of us to the cruise. I have mixed feelings about that because I loved going to her brownstone and many of my childhood memories are of walking down by the river and smelling the Maxwell coffee aroma...eating all kinds of fish at her house on Good Fridays and Christmas Eve... and eating her homemade manicotti which would be lined up like soldiers on pans... seeing my "short aunts", Aunt Tessie and Aunt Annie who lived in the apartment on the top floor of my Grandmother's house and looking out through her backyard to the backs of other buildings on Washington Street, through the clotheslines of laundry to the window that was my Aunt Rosie's apartment...going to the St. Anne's feast and seeing the hundreds of flickering candles on the altar. I will really miss that house and have had a hard time getting used to seeing her in her new retirement village condo. It's brand new and filled with brand new furniture. I miss her old stuff. It all sort of belonged with her, but she was getting too old to be on her own. Plus she really enjoys the ice cream machine in the dining hall in her new place. It's all good.

So for a few days my posts will be coming in from the high seas! I am looking forward to reading feed later today by the pool!
My husband and cat, Max (who is being shortchanged entirely by these very few words...when I have more time, I promise to dedicated an entire blog to his awesomeness) stayed up with me while I finished my paper. My husband volunteered to read my references to me as I typed so that I could finish up! If that's not doing the right thing, then I don't know what is!

Triple the Fun!

I think that my fascination with multiples comes partly from the fact that my sister has twin girls- age 2- absolutely wacky! But here are the triplets that I had spoken of in an earlier post! I was bringing my son home from basketball and we saw them by the side of the road...so we raced home, my son raced down our ski slope of a driveway and retrieved the camera...and we got em'! Part of my fascination with the deer in our area is that I am trying to write a picture book called, "Oh, dear...deer!" It will be a counting book. Well, so far I have one, two and three. I think I need to get a wide angle lens for larger numbers!

Seeing Clearly- Catalyst

Sometimes I forget to take a good look at the cover of books and I've been taking a look at the eye on the cover of Catalyst and thinking about Kate Malone getting her contacts in the story. To me, it was so sad that she went to pick them up by herself- trying them on, paying for them. It seemed like something a parent would go with you to do. But that was typical Kate, self- sufficient. After that she is "able to see clearly"- physiologically, but also so much more in her life. Thinking further, maybe it was right that Kate went for her contacts on her own. Getting to a point where you can see things clearly is something only you can do for yourself.

The aspect of this book that bothers me is Kate's type-A personality and trying to appear perfect for everyone. I worry about this a lot with overachieving students and my own son. It's so important to have students understand that failure is part of life and that despite everything, the sun will come up the next day. On a much smaller scale, my son had a big disappointment when he did not make the "Majors" in baseball this year. Boy was it hard for him to go to school and face his friends who razzed him quite a bit. Kate calling MIT to make sure that a mistake hadn't been made reminded me of myself calling the President of Little League to make sure my son hadn't mistakenly been left off a roster. Tough life lessons. But my son went on to have a great season in the International League and even learned to pitch (something he wouldn't have done in the Majors) and had a super coach. And I think life will go on for Kate Malone too.

Dolly. Good or baaaaad idea?

I put this picture here of Dolly, the first cloned sheep because the story I'm writing about ---scroll down--- (Never Let Me Go) is written around the idea of human clones. I had no idea how many cloned animals there are! This issue of cloning is so disturbing! Are we next?

Fictional Morality...A Story That Haunts Me

I spent some time standing in front of my bookshelves yesterday thinking about which books have made me "wrestle with big questions". The one I remembered most vividly was Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro, which I read last summer. The moral question raised in this book rattled me so much that I remember telling other people to read the book just so I could hear their reaction.

The story is set in England in the late 1990's and Laura (the narrator) is a "carer". (The meaning of carer is not revealed until later. As a child she lived at Hailsham which was an idyllic private school in the English countryside. She and the other children that lived there were treated as "special". There was a tremendous focus on fostering the students' creative abilities, especially in poetry and art. Students whose work was exceptional was kept by Madame for her "gallery". Students were also encouraged to keep themselves healthy; there was a strict no smoking policy. The true reason for the children being at Hailsham was revealed when one of the teachers told the students the truth.

"If you're going to have decent lives, then you've got to know and know properly. None of you will go to America, none of you will be film stars. And none of you will be working in supermarkets as I heard some of you planning the other day. You'll become adults , then before you're old, before you're even middle-aged, you'll start to donate your vital organs. That's what each of you was created to do." (p.81)

This was shocking to me! All of these children had been cloned simply to be there as "spare parts". After Hailsham, Kathy, and her friends Tommy and Ruth moved to "the cottages" where they met other clones. At one point, Rodney and Chrissie told Ruth that they thought that they had seen her "possible" (the person whom she was modelled from). All of them went to a nearby town to observe this woman, whom they later decided could not have been her possible.

"We all know it. We're modelled from trash. Junkies, prostitutes, winos, tramps. Convicts, maybe, just so long as they aren't psychos. That's what we come from....If you want to look for possibles, if you want to do it properly, then you look in the gutter. You look in rubbish bins. Look down the toilet, that's where you'll find where we all came from." (p.166)

While they were living in the cottages they were all aware that soon they would have to train, first as carers ( people who will care for the clones who are the donors) and following that they would begin receiving notifications about making their own donations. The question of whether a deferral could be granted comes up. Rodney and Chrissie had heard that if a couple could prove that they were truly in love that they could put off their donations for a few years, although the rumor was unfounded. This led to Tommy's thought that perhaps that's why Madame kept the best artwork for her gallery. Artwork is a window to the soul; perhaps she was trying to prove that they had souls. Poor Tommy! He had never gotten a piece of artwork into the Gallery. He began drawing a book of very minute, detailed animals and expressed his desire to find Madame and show them to her in the hopes that he might get a deferrment.

There is one great scene where Tommy buys a cassette of a tape that Kathy had lost years ago. It seems to parallel the idea of cloning.

"Do you think it could be the same one? I mean. the actual one? The one you lost?"

I don't want to spoil the ending for all of you. Not only was I riveted by great character development but I was so disturbed by the realness of this book. The world does want cures , as it's stated on p.262

" ...all these new possibilities laid before us, all these ways to cure many previously incurable conditions. That is what the world noticed the most, wanted the most. And for a long time people preferred to believe that these organs appeared from nowhere, or at most that they grew in a kind of vacuum. Yes, there were arguments. But by the time people became concerned about ...about students, by the time they came to consider just how you were reared, whether you should have been brought into existence at all, well by then it was too late. There was no way to reverse the process. How can you ask a world that has come to regard cancer as curable, how can you ask such a world to put away that cure, to go back to the dark days? There was no going back. However uncomfortable people were about your existence, their overwhelming concern was that their own children, their spouses, their parents, their friends, did not die from cancer, motor neurone disease, heart disease. So for a long time you were kept in the shadows, and people did their best not to think about you. And if they did, they tried to convince themselves you weren't really like us. That you were less than human, so it didn't matter."

Boy did this give me pause to think, and think, and think. Is cloning moral? Under what circumstances? At what point does science go too far? How did my own faith factor into this?How did I feel about stem cell research? How would I feel if my child was in need of an organ? Would it matter where it came from? Who wouldn't want the best for their child? For their child not to suffer? But at what cost? And the whole question of a clone having a soul..or not...

Never Let Me Go gets to the very heart of morality. I was left with many more questions than answers.